Yes, I am one of those people. I pack my luggage at least two weeks before a trip. I have lists for my list of what to bring. I create itineraries, book excursions, and make dining reservations. I check weather reports, airline delays, and road construction issues. It is just who I am. I know you’re thinking that I am stressed during this, but, for me, it is part of planning a vacation and I love it.
There is stress involved though. I don’t worry about canceled flights or rain ruining my beach day, I worry about my daughter having access to all parts of our vacation. You see, traveling with a disabled child is another level of stress sometimes. I worry that even though a restaurant says they are handicap accessible, her wheelchair might not fit at a table. I worry that places may get too crowded and I won’t be able to get her out easily if she has a seizure. I worry about what we will have to deal with getting through TSA and boarding a plane. I wonder if her wheelchair will be returned to us broken. Yes, this happened in Houston.
My daughter cannot walk or support herself on her own or communicate. So, places may say they are wheelchair accessible, but they mean that if you can get out of your wheelchair and transfer to a seat everything will be fine. Hotels boast they are accessible, but they don’t mean that all parts of the hotel are accessible. Sometimes this means only half the family can go to outdoor events. The airlines have people to assist anyone who needs help. Unfortunately, with shrinking seat and aisle sizes, having the time to properly assist someone who has no control of their body is difficult. Passengers are anxious to get to their seats and the crew wants everyone on the plane as fast as they can, so it doesn’t leave much time to safely board if you need help.
We have faced all of these problems and more. They used to stress me out so much I could not fully enjoy our trips. I was always anxious and worried about the next problem. Over the years I have let most of it go. I realized that no matter how much people want to get to their seats on a plane, they can’t until we sit first. They can just wait. I know that if something happens to her wheelchair, then the airline will fix it. I realized that some areas of the hotel might not be fully accessible, but with some planning and communication, my daughter can have a similar or sometimes upgraded experience. It overwhelmingly works out well for her. I realized that if you explain to restaurant employees that you need a specific table so that people can easily walk around the wheelchair, they will accommodate the request. Yes, sometimes we wait longer for a table, but if that is the biggest problem, things are still good.
So, after all the advanced planning, checking off lists, and double-checking reservations, I remember to take a breath. I remember that things will never be easy traveling with a disability, but we are fortunate enough to be able to travel. I remember that if I stress, the entire family will stress. And most importantly, I remember that vacations are a time for our family to recharge, relax and enjoy new experiences. Then, I double-check that I have packed my patience and get ready to go!
